Hmmm...

Okay, I don't get it! I know that may suprise some of you, but yes, there are some concepts that are just beyond my comprehension. (My husband attempted to help me out with this one last night, but I was not as appreciative of his help as one would think!) You see, I am involved in a contest at work in which employees are being encouraged to increase their physical activity. Our goal is a minimum of 10,000 steps a day, and the team with the most steps is rewarded at the end of a 2 1/2 month period.

So here is the thing...it took me two months...TWO MONTHS to lose 2 1/2 measely pounds! At first the weight went up, and I thought my body had forsaken the goal we were working so hard to accomplish. I mean, I have been walking a total of 5 miles a day! It has finally started down a little, though. I lost weight during the weight loss competition earlier this year (3 whole pounds...whoopie...) only to gain it plus a couple more on our trip to Chicago...mmm...Chicago style pizza...and bagels...and hot dogs...but I digress. Now I that I am on my way back from losing those added pounds, I have decided to try a whole new concept. I am actually going to watch my portions and calorie intake WHILE I exercise. Hmmm, now why haven't I thought of this one before?!?!!

Well, to be fair to myself, I have done this in the past with quite good success. But that was in my twenties, thirties and early forties. The closer I get to fifty, however, (and I'm talking only a few months away) the more independent my body seems to have become. I think it is afraid that each time I eat something it could be the last morsel it will ever get to digest, so it holds on for dear life to every calorie.

So now that I have verbalized everything that I do not want to keep happening, I am going to stop behaving like Lot's wife who turned into a pillar of salt because she just had to look back at what she was leaving behind instead looking forward to the promises of where she was headed. I shall now make a few positive affirmations for my successful weight loss journey:

• I am back down to the size I was whenever I went to the hospital to have my sons.

• I can sit in a stadium seat without having to raise one hip at a time to get out of it.

• I can actually bend over and paint my toenails without cutting off my air supply.

• I can try on clothes without bursting into tears in the dressing room because my "fat size" is now too small.

• I no longer have to turn sheepishly away whenever my husband asks what happened to the Reese's peanut butter cups he just bought the day before.

• I no longer live in fear of the nurse at my doctor's office yelling my weight across the room to the nurse who is "assisting" by recording it on my chart.

• I no longer feel 4 1/2 months pregnant because my stomach has added a layer of insulation to help me through menopause (to this day I do not understand why this necessary, but I am told it is beneficial...probably something thought up by a female doctor experiencing the same mysterious "miracle" of the female mid-life era.)

• I can wear heels again without the balls of my feet feeling like they are being crushed to powder due to the exponential weight added by said heels.

• I can actually watch "The Biggest Loser" without the conviction that I need to be filling out an application instead of eating another bowl of ice cream.

I feel much better now! With any luck at all I can see myself losing at least 5 lbs before this time next year :-)!!